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Hear ye hear ye, the honorable Chief Justice of REAL local information presiding. It seems that nobody really knows what became popular band KORN (my computer will not make the backward 'R'). Verdict: Not Guilty because nobody cares.

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It seems that a certain President of some local universities had a black tie affair of sorts. Rumor has it that he requested only African-American servers in black outfits at an event he threw. Certifiable misuse of a "blackout."

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Local horticultural lad wins annual homosexual award. Will his tomfoolery continue? Stay tuned. Ye Olde Towne Kryer brings it to you first!

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Hear Ye has the scoop! Looks like one of Columbia's sexy Democratic hopefuls is a certified scoundrel! This political up n' comer is the owner of a ritzy computer shack where just last year, he treated bakery workers like scum while his wife stoody by and made racist comments!! ... and to an African American at that!

Newsflash! Mahzoo's own CornerCopia corners the hard-core porn market on campus!

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Coffin full of candy found at Super Wal-Mart. Deliciousness ensued.

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Newsflash! Kryer spots local news legend Jim Reek out and about this week! Hosting some fundraiser for some failing school district, eh Jimmy Boy?! What else will you do for that precious Wilde Turkee? Ye Olde Towne Kryer breaks it to you FIRST!


Tiny babies invade Columbia. They can barely stay on the shelves! Looks like the ladies of Columbia have baby fever!